


When the Cat's Away

by anarchycox



Series: Knitter Eggsy Universe [7]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humour, Lab Rat absolutely doesn't have sentient goo, Pilar has a ray gun, all fights, did the bad guys not clue in the support staff was even scarier, little feels, pure bloody action, stupid villains, what happens at Kingsman when all the agents are gone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 05:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7155854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has happened the event that really only happens every few years - all Kingsman agents, including Arthur and Merlin are away and the Kingsman support staff can let down their hair.</p><p>Stupid asshole wannabe bond villains think they are going to destroy the home base of the Kingsman - how hard can it be to take down some nerds?</p><p>Don't need super knowledge of the KEU to enjoy this, but it will help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the Cat's Away

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a chapter in Wrapped in Wool, but it is just going to be long enough it deserved its own space. Enjoy this verging on crack tale of what happens when the 'heroes/main characters' aren't there.
> 
> http://knitter-eggsy-universe.tumblr.com/fun-links - this is a url that will lead you to the list of all the staff with their fancast if you need help to figure out who everyone is.

"Yes Merlin?" Liz and Pilar stood in their boss's office at the ready. He had sounded so serious when he called them up.

"As ye know, situations seemed to have exponentially cropped up in the last 48 hours and all agents have been called out into the field." Merlin was busy packing up some of his equipment. "And it seems Harry went trailing off after Guinevere and Galahad on their mission and now I have to go assist Lamorak. Pilar, ye are in charge."

"Huh?" She said stunned. "The Boudica is in charge in situations like this." Pilar paused. "There are never situations like this."

Merlin pinched his nose under his glasses. "I know, Valentine's event was the last time there was no agent on Kingsman property. And the Boudica is at home, she had to have a root canal and took a couple days off." Merlin held up a hand. "And yes I know that Andrew would out rank ye in terms of seniority but ye know he never comes to the estate. You are the head of R&D and ye are in charge of the estate until either The Boudica, Arthur, or myself return. Liz ye might be about to get a crash course in being a handler."

"I run code and analysis." Liz protested.

"Needs must my dear. This is almost unprecedented I have no doubt ye will step up." Merlin looked at the two women. "I trust ye implicitly." 

They both snapped a salute and Merlin just sighed and was gone in the hour.

Pilar put her hair up in a very tight bun and sat at Merlin's desk and put on the reading glasses that she maybe sometimes needed when she had been working late at night. "Now then Ms. Bhatia I do expect ye to function at the top of yer skill level. No slacking off just because stick up his arse boss is gone." 

"You can't even remotely pull off a Scottish accent. How is your Spanish one still so thick after living here for what a dozen years?" Liz said. She sat in the spare chair and spun around.

"Determination." Pilar said. "Used to drive Chester crazy that I wasn't trying to become more British with every breath."

"Also Merlin doesn't have a stick up his ass, unless it is a dildo Eggsy put there in the first place." Liz said primly and both ladies burst out laughing.

Pilar opened the comms to the whole estate. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Kingsman Support Staff, this is Pilar Innis Head of R&D - all Kingsman agents as well as Arthur and Merlin are gone from the estate and none are likely to return for 72 hours." She paused. "I invoke the H.G. policy." She hit a couple buttons and peppy dance music poured through the speakers.

Liz looked at her. "H.G. policy?"

"It is something Lab Rat and I came up with years ago. The Holy Grail policy - meaning that while the major oversight is gone this is our chance to work on the projects they absolutely don't want us to ever ever do." Pilar grinned. "I'm gonna build me a death ray."

Liz smiled. "I'm going to hack Mossad."

The phone rang and PIlar didn't even say hello. "Yes you can try to make the Knight Rider car Twitch - use a Bentley." She hung up and did her best evil laugh. Liz was impressed at its quality.

"Bomb boy likes to role play me as a super villain sometimes." Pilar explained. "The laugh goes well with the knee high boots." She stood up. "To the death ray."

"To the computers." Liz went running out of Merlin's office and to her own. She had to pass by Thomas's door which was open.

He took one look at Liz. "Oh god, we're all going to die." Thomas quickly barred himself in. The former agent had no problems admitting that he was terrified.

*************************

"Boss, we did it." A voice said. He was looking at his computer. "All the Kingsman are away from home base."

"Excellent." An older woman said. "Deploy your team and destroy the estate while their defenses are down."

"Yes boss." The man agreed. "Team, go and cripple the Kingsman."

20 men crossed the borders of the estate.

*************************

Twitch stared at Mikey and Sean. "Explain again." The agents and bosses had been away for 24 hours and everyone was having a great time doing very very dangerous things.

"Sean came up with a great Holy Grail project sir." Mikey said cheerfully. "Sort of plays off your Knight Rider idea."

"No it doesn't." Twitch crossed his arms over his pretty blue dress. "It doesn't at all. He wants to build a flying car."

"It's not a flying car." Sean said patiently. "It is really a glider, that just so happens to also be a car. Deploys out the back of the plane and being a glider is silent until it hits the ground and then you rev up and hit the road."

Twitch tapped his arms. "Right. You got schematics?"

"Yes, stayed up all right working on them!" Mikey bounced on his toes. "Can we? Can we? Please."

Twitch looked at the two men in front of him. "Mikey go get me my Hello Kitty jumpsuit. We have some building to do."

Mikey cheered and Sean smiled and the three headed towards the junk heap at the back of the garage for parts to play with. As they were pulling out parts they heard an alarm.

"That fire?" Mikey asked. "Lab Rat been working on his H.G. project?"

"No, his H.G. project would rend the fabric of time and space, not start a fire if there was a problem." Twitch went over to the panel that was lit up like a Christmas tree. His eyes widened and he picked up the phone. "Kitten, telling me I'm not seeing what I'm seeing." Silence as Twitch waited. "Right. Got it. You fucking stay alive or I swear I'll bury you in that ugly ass orange polyester dress Jump thought was cute." Twitch hung up.

Sean took one look at his face and headed towards the plane without another word.

"Boss?" Mikey asked.

"Seems we have unwanted visitors Mikey. Get the other mechanics and get their asses to the safe rooms." Twitch ran to his office and pulled a book on the shelf and his gun cabinet popped out. "No Jasper, this fight isn't for turtles. Mikey is taking you to the safe room." Twitch grabbed a shot gun and his turtle and ran to where he left Mikey.

"Sir, I can help." Mikey protested even as he clutched Jasper close.

"Yes you can. You get the rest into the safe room and then get to the candidates and lock them down. They have just enough knowledge to be dangerous. Lock yourself in with them too. You can move fastest through this place. Go." Mikey took off running and Twitch went over to where Sean was coming out with an assault rifle. "Your numbers still decent?"

"Never was the best shot, but always been solid. Any word?" Even as he said it the glasses Sean had put on in the airplane beeped. He tapped the side. "Orders?" He said without thinking.

Pilar was looking at monitors. "I need to go secure R&D and make sure my staff are safe. They are within one kilometer of us. Basically we each secure our corner of the estate and fucking crucify anyone who does anything."

"Tell me you mean that metaphorically." Sean said.

Pilar laughed. "Of course, it takes a surprisingly long time to actually decently crucify someone. Liz has activated the landmines around the estate. She and Thomas are holed up in a secure room and will do their best to monitor and co-ordinate. It can't be a fucking coincidence that this happened while all the big goddamn heroes are gone."

Sean decided not to ask how she knew about the mechanics of crucifixion. "Twitch and I can hold down the garage. But I can also be deployed as needed."

"Understood. I'm out, Liz and Thomas are in charge of the estate. Luck in battle Charon." PIlar paused and Sean handed the glasses to Twitch. "Tesoro, you die and I'll bring you back to life and kill you all over. Te amo podra corazon." PIlar left Sean's ear.

Twitch returned the glasses to Sean, who answered his next call.

"Charon, you are needed at the kennels." Liz's calm voice said. "Tell Twitch we trust him to hold the garage himself. Loss to equipment is acceptable if required to kill each one of these bastards." Liz signed off and turned to Thomas. "I need to know that you can handle this." They heard the pop of an explosion outside.

"I can get a gun, and go out there." Thomas protested. "Up until a few months ago I was a bloody Kingsman agent and I can do this."

Liz grabbed his chin. "I know you could. But you aren't an agent anymore and I need help here. We need both our eyes on these guys to direct the heads of the departments to do what they can. You are our best shot at finding out who these guys are. No one recognizes a face faster than you. We work the cameras and computers, guide the staff and get through this. I can't do this without you Thomas. You go out there yeah, you'll take half of them out but good shot the other half find a way to hurt the staff. And that is not happening today." Liz's voice was in full Dom mode.

"Yes ma'am. I'll take North and East cameras. You take South and West. Dr. Pierce, and Lab Rat have checked in that their staff are secured and they are ready. Cameras show Mikey junior mechanic in the process of securing the candidates." Thomas paused. "Where did our junior mechanic learn how to subdue a candidate like that?" He asked. "No matter, the remaining candidates are also secure."

Liz looked at her monitors. "Pilar is securing her staff right now. Oh dear and doing her evil laugh. Looks like she'll be testing her death ray." There was another explosion. They looked at the cameras. "Shit, they have small robots they are sending in first to find the landmines. Clever. But not as clever as us." Liz did some serious typing. "Luckily for us, cleaning staff aren't in today." A few more strokes. "Andrew reports no problems at the shop but he has it completely locked down and he and his staff are secure. All the vulnerable are protected."

Thomas kept scanning the screens. "There. Three men." He zoomed in. "Really? Are they really wearing fucking Guy Fawkes masks? Like bloody anonymous haven't ruined that enough. Bad show, bloody bad show."

Liz swore in a couple different languages. "Great now we need to leave a few of them alive for questioning. There goes my plan to eat all their hearts."

Thomas keeps his eyes moving through the various camera feeds. "Would you really eat their hearts?" He asked.

"No." Liz replied. "I'm scary, but not that scary." She looked at cameras. "My count is 17."

Thomas started to agree but paused. "Look." He point at one of her cameras. "The shadow is too thick on those three men. They are walking double trying to hide. 20."

"Don't suppose we just have roof top guns or missiles?" Liz asked.

"Sorry." Thomas said. "The estate is supposed to be safe."

Liz looked at him. "We'll keep it safe." Her voice was hard, determined. She flipped the comms on. "Kingsman Support Staff. We have 20 insurgents on our door step. Ideally keep a few of these fucking morons alive for questioning, but if your life or that of your staff is in danger, kill them. We are all mother fucking Kingsman and they are going to piss their pants at the horror we will drop on them. Under the authority of Merlin and Author, I order you to protect our home by any fucking means necessary." Liz thought about it a bit. "Except you Lab Rat. You do not release anything you have in a yellow storage box. Green and Blue are acceptable. Good hunting."

Thomas thought about it. "Gas in the hallways."

"Sorry?"

"Remember the death roombas?" Thomas said. "What if we released them again."

"Harry took them away." Liz replied. "But Lab Rat might have a similar gas we could release into the vents." Liz sent him a message. They looked at the cameras. "Here they are. Let's get to work." Liz put on her headset and Thomas did the same.

"Funnel them as much as we can towards the ballroom." Thomas suggested. "It's a good spot to gas a group." He looked at the monitors. "Shit." He turned on the comms. "Dr. Pierce looks like a few are headed your way."

"Understood boy-o." Dr Pierce replied. "And I like your gas idea." He winked at the camera. He walked around the medical wing and opened up various valves in the walls. He sat as he his desk feet up and looked like he was snoring a quilt over top himself.

Thomas watched two men storm into the medical ward. "Get up old man." They shouted.

Dr. Pierce stirred. "What was that?"

"Get up or I'll shoot." The man yelled.

Dr Pierce smiled. "Go ahead and shoot then." He dropped like a stone to the ground and rolled under his desk, and the blanket covered every speck of him.

Thomas watched the man open fire and the spark of metal exploded all the gases that had flooded the room. "Dr. Pierce report!" Thomas yelled.

"Banged my funny bone, but alive." Dr Pierce replied. "Betting those two are not."

"There are easier ways to get new equipment out of Arthur sir." Liz suggested. 

"I never get to play boom splosion though." Dr Pierce answered. "Bors is right, it is fun." The sprinkler system made short work of the fire. Dr Pierce emerged. "Don't even need to check their pulse to know they are dead."

"Good job sir. Find a safe place, have medical kits ready just in case." Thomas hit a few buttons and the hallway a few men were about to head down was shut off. "That's right little mice, scurry the way I want."

"Charon." Liz said into her headset. "Thomas suggested that we try to funnel them to the ballroom and gas them. That will work for the ones coming in the north side of the building but less so for the south. Help us out there?"

"Yes ma'am. Just about at the kennel entrance. How many that way?"

"Just one, the others peeled off. Kill him and then precede down to the labs area."

"Understood." Sean replied. He jogged down the hallway and turned the corner to the kennels. He could hear the dogs barking and went in as silently as he could. He had never been the best at stealthy. He saw a man holding a gun to the kennel masters head. Of course the man didn't go to his safe room - not if the dogs were at risk. 

"Give me the fucking code for that locker." The man snarled.

The kennel master simply closed his eyes. Sean slid up behind the insurgent and blew onto his ear. 

"Wot the?" The man couldn't even finish the sentence before Sean snapped his neck.

"Lock the kennel down, you'll be safe." Sean said. "Q is here right, Merlin's dog?" The kennel master nodded. "Let him out of his cage, he'll be a good warning system." Sean nodded and headed out. He began to move to the lab area and tapped his glasses. "Word on how many are by the labs?"

"8 is our guess right now, they are fucking with the cameras. Liz is pushing back but we are getting black outs." Thomas replied.

Sean paused and took a breath. "You watching over my shoulder?"

"If you can trust me to do so." Thomas replied. "Charon, I want no harm to come to you or those at the estate."

"Okay then, give me what intel you can." Sean said as he ran down the halls. "Also can you close off hallway south 1C right after I go through?"

"You'll be trapped in with them." Thomas warned even as he pulled up the code.

"No they'll be trapped in with me, Pilar and Lab Rat." Sean replied. "You wish that fate on anyone?"

"Certainly not Charon." Thomas watched him go down the hall and then closed it off. "3 have breached Pilar's office, 4 are down more trying to get to Lab Rat's area and 1 is unaccounted for."

"Understood." Sean took a moment to think about it. "Pilar can handle 3 preceding to Lab Rat."

"Are you sure?" Thomas asked. He checked his cameras which finally kicked back in. "Oh, yes Pilar can handle three. Remind me to save and copy this footage and give it as a birthday gift to her husband." Sean ran past her lab catching sight of one body falling even as Pilar shot at another. Her hair was falling down and her lab coat was splattered with blood and she was laughing and advancing on the men in her lab.

"Yeah, you don't fuck with Pilar." Sean said. He went down the hall a little more. "Oh crap, they've broken into Lab Rat's office."

"Kill them." Thomas ordered swiftly. "They cannot leave with any intel they find in there, and that lab can blow up the whole building."

"I know." Sean replied. He went low. "Jesus, this is bad for my back. Oh great, Lab Rat is talking to them like they are here for a meeting or something." Sean peered around the corner. "And he has a yellow storage box." 

Thomas growled a little and turned on the public comms in the lab. "Lab Rat you were given orders to not kill these insurgents with anything in a yellow box. I will personally see that your funds are cut by 25% for the next quarter if you don't behave."

"But, come on! I think the absorbing gel is almost perfected." Lab Rat shouted. "I wanna turn them into goo."

"Lab Rat," Thomas shouted into the comms, "We don't need sentient evil goo."

"You're no fun anymore." Lab Rat pouted and put the lid back on the yellow box.

"I was never any fun." Thomas replied. "In fact that is the great charge everyone here has always laid at my feet. Now kill them in a way that doesn't break the Geneva convention and get to safety."

One of the insurgents actually had the wherewithal to start shooting and Lab Rat ducked behind his desk. Sean opened fire as well and took two of them swiftly out and Lab Rat pulled out a small rock from his desk and threw it to where the two others had been. It exploded and when the smoke cleared Sean came into the room and saw them still standing perfect statues.

"Petrificus Totalis rock, been working on it for Tristan." Lab Rat explained. "We need to get this wing completely sealed."

"Yeah. Thomas, I'm going to help shut down this area, any idea where that one unaccounted insurgent is?" Sean asked.

"Ran after seeing the blood and body parts raining down Pilar's walls. Headed towards the garage, where another was already going."

"Twitch can deal with two. Helping secure this wing of the building." Sean said and signed off. "Well, let's clean these guys up."

Lab Rat took the gun from Sean and blew off the heads of the two who had been frozen into statues. "Oops."

"Great, now we have to get brains off your walls." Sean said. Lab Rat just shrugged, unrepentant. 

 

Twitch stood in the garage in full leathers and holding a helmet. "Been quiet here, expected more of a fuss." He said out loud.

"Two incoming." Thomas said, "One from the outside entrance and one from the inside. Suggest safety protocols."

"Nah, mate. Going to have me some fun." Twitch replied. "Too easy to empty a bunch of gas cans and create a hell of an explosion here."

"You are a mechanic Twitch, these are trained professionals." Thomas protested.

"You forget, before I was a mechanic, I was one hell of a criminal." Twitch grinned and put on a helmet and kicked the motorcycle into gear. He rode through the garage making tight turns and making his way to the exterior entrance. He saw the one man trying to creep along the wall and revved the bike. He froze and Twitch barreled at him. The guy got a few shots off but Twitch just tilted and rolled off the bike so that it ran into the man crushing him. "One down."

Thomas looked at the cameras. "Roll under the Audi." He yelled and Twitch rolled just missing being shot.

"Well poop." Twitch said. He made it to the other side of the car and pulled off his helmet. He grabbed the shot gun that was on his back and peered around the car and couldn't see the bad guy. "Thomas some eyes?"

"Cameras are down in the garage. Get out of there Twitch." Thomas said.

"No can do, no one messes with my rides." Twitch replied.

"Oh I'll mess with what I want." A voice across the way said.

"Some of these are vintage asshole." Twitch yelled.

"Like I care."

"Excuse me?" Twitch stood up and looked for the guy in the shadows. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He strode out into the centre alley of the garage, hoping that he had guess right about who the shadow a few metres away belonged too. "Seriously, how can you not care? We have a freaking Grey Ghost in here." Twitch heard the snick of a gun behind him.

"Because all I care about is killing you. Dumb bastard coming out of cover like that."

"Dumb bastard, thinking he did that without back up." Mikey yelled as he threw the tire iron at the insurgent. It startled the man enough that Twitch was able to turn and empty the shot gun into the guy.

"You were supposed to stay with the candidates." Twitch said to Mikey.

"They were fine, Gemma had them well in hand."

"In the Kingsman we follow orders." Twitch said sternly.

"No we don't. No one follows orders like ever." Mikey replied coming out from behind a car. "Couldn't leave you alone. I like my boss, they give me gold stickers and let me muck about in fancy cars."

"Okay, okay, let's better secure the area." Twitch said.

"I don't want to touch the bodies, mama always said never touch a dead body, it brings bad luck."

"Your mama have an opinion on everything?" Twitch asked.

"Yup." Mikey agreed happily. "Usually good ones too."

Twitch sighed. "I'll deal with the bodies."

 

Liz and Thomas were typing away. "That takes care of all the ones who came in on the south side, funneling the ones on the north is going okay but we are missing one - the bastard who's trying to mess with our systems." Liz said typing. She peered at her screen. "Got you, you bastard. You had to come closer than you expected didn't you? Hard to get our systems remotely." Liz stared at a camera. "There on the obstacle course." She grinned at Thomas. "You wanted a chance to play agent - go take that fucker out, I'll deal with the other 7."

"Yes ma'am." Thomas replied. He went to the wall and hit the code and pulled a knife and a handgun from the weapon options. "You okay?" 

"Yup we got this." Liz said and Thomas ran out of the offices. Liz kept opening and shutting doors and funneled the bad guys to the wing she wanted them to be in. "Lab Rat, got some gas ready for me? Ballroom is too specific, just flood the upper east wing on my command."

"Ready when you are." Lab Rat said. "Aren't you over there though?" 

"I'm lower east wing, and have a mask. Follow orders." Liz hit a few more keys. "They are locked in, flood the zone."

Lab Rat went on his computer and hit the command codes in and poured gas through the vents. Liz watched the men drop like flies - all 6 of them.

"Fuck." Liz said.

"Ma'am?" Lab Rat requested.

"We have one little mouse still loose in the house." Liz looked through all her cameras, only to have them all go dead. "And I'm out of eyes." She opened the comms. "Hey folks there is one little mouse still loose, let's all go a hunting shall we?" Liz grabbed the cricket bat that she had hung on her wall and went to her office door.

Soon the support staff were all walking through the halls, hunting the last person left standing. Thomas returned and tapped his glasses. "Wasn't even a challenge. Disappointing really."

"Well we've got one guy left." Liz replied. "Let's see if we keep this one alive to answer a few questions." Liz caught sight of a door ajar. "Hmmm, oh dearie me, there is a just slightly open door here, I wonder if the bad guy maybe is hiding in there." She said out loud. She kicked the door open but then quickly went to the wall beside the next door. When the man came out, thinking he had a chance to run he was met with a cricket bat to the face. "Moron." Liz said. "Got the guy, all available Kingsman to me." and Liz gave her location.

 

When the man came to, he was unmasked and tied to a chair, several people surrounding him. "All the agents are in the field we made sure of that."

"What you think the only dangerous ones here are the silly little boys, with their silly little toys?" Pilar laughed and leaned over and kissed his broken nose. "You didn't think that maybe the people who make the toys are just as dangerous." She stepped back.

Twitch pulled her into a hug. "God you are hot when you are scary."

"Lab Rat, truth serum?" Liz requested.

"Sure." Lab Rat injected the man. "Fun fact, this won't only compel you to tell the truth, it will make your blood boil if you try to lie."

"I just won't say anything."

"Yeah that is the one problem with truth serums." Lab Rat agreed.

"Thomas and I could torture him." Sean said reluctantly.

"No." Liz ordered. "That type of order comes from Arthur I'm not handing it out." She looked at the man. "None of you were in charge were you?" He didn't say anything. "Bet your boss still has some eyes on us. Looks like we have to leave a very clear message."

"What sort of message?" The couldn't help but ask.

Liz smiled, and the man did indeed piss himself at the look on her face. "That you don't fuck with us. Ever." She hit him with the cricket bat again.

 

The man stared at the video his drone was showing him. "Ma'am we failed." He said into his phone.

"What do you mean failed?"

"I mean I am staring at video of all my men, dead and laid out on the grounds to form a human version of the Kingsman symbol." He swallowed back some bile at the sight of the carnage. "Orders?" He asked voice thick with terror.

"Go into hiding, if the Kingsman don't kill you, I will." The woman hung up the phone.

 

The agents all returned home hard and fast, Arthur and Merlin having clued in that this had all been an elaborate plan. They were terrified what they would find and they all dropped in hot and ready, only to stumble at the sight of the Kingsman support staff having a barbeque out by the obstacle course.

Merlin and Harry ran over to Liz and Pilar who were pouring out Pimms. "Report."

"I made a death ray and it almost worked!" Pilar said cheerfully already a little tipsy.

"I want guns and missiles on the roof." Liz added. "Hey sweetie." She shouted and waved to Tristan who was still a few metres away.

Arthur looked at them. "There was an attack."

"Yup." Pilar agreed. "We all also decided that we clean up your messes, so it is your turn to clean up ours." She drank a little more. "Go on, shoo. When you all are finished, you can have a sausage."

Two of the candidates came over to Merlin. "Sir, we respectfully wish to withdrawal from the Kingsman, your support staff scare us too much."

Merlin's eyes widened. He looked at Arthur who was equally clueless. "What happened ladies, explanation?"

Merlin's glasses beeped. "Uh babe, there are several really gross bodies over on this side of the estate." Eggsy said. "Wot in the ever loving fuck happened?"

"I am finding out." Merlin replied. He turned to his staff. "I expect a decent report on my desk in the morning, but a summation would be helpful."

Liz shrugged. "There was a problem. We dealt with it."

Pilar slapped her a high five. "Hell yeah we did. Motherfucking Kingsman!" She yelled.

The rest of the support staff cheered along.

Arthur and Merlin stood there nonplussed. Sean and Thomas walked over and gave a more helpful account of what happened and lead them to the bodies where all the other agents were standing.

"Motherfucking Kingsman." Arthur said quietly in awe at what the staff had done.

Merlin nodded in silent agreement, everyone was getting a toy surprise in their bonuses. 

You never mess with a Kingsman, no matter their office.


End file.
